As I sat down wondering how to begin writing about my
thoughts and feelings surrounding this tragic event, I found myself reading
through my previous posts and remembering all of the positives. A little over a week before the marathon I posted, “As
the race gets closer, I find myself getting more and more emotional about it.
9 days to go and just the thought of crossing that finish line brings a
few tears to my eyes. I have run other marathons, but this one proves to
be the most meaningful. Embarking on this journey, I never imagined the
emotional impact this would have on me.” As I reread this Monday night it brought the tears flowing all over again. I never would have imagined the emotional
impact this race would have on me.
Within 24 hours, I experienced about every emotion imaginable.
The Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge had a pasta party for all 550 DFMC runners
and their friends/family on Sunday afternoon.
It was a celebration of all of our accomplishments from raising over $4
million as a team to directly fund innovative cancer research and all of the
hard work and training we had put in for this race. While they were right about not remembering
all of the exact words that were said by our different speakers, I do remember
this statement “You will not remember everything we have said here today, but
you will remember how it made you feel.”
At that moment, I was happy, excited, nervous and trying to put it
together in my head that “You are running THE Boston Marathon tomorrow”. I was already planning out my fundraising for
the next Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge and more ready than ever before to
cross that starting line at 10:40 Monday morning.
The patient partners with their runners at the DFMC Pasta Party
Getting ready to cross the finish line Sunday evening
With a friend from MN who was also running
Finish line
Running for my mom and dad- both cancer survivors
Monday I rose before the break of dawn to head
into downtown to catch the shuttles to Hopkinton with my Dana-Farber
teammates. It was a little unnerving as
the bus took a while to drive out to Hopkinton- no matter how many marathons
I’ve run that shuttle ride always makes me question how far I am about to
run. In Hopkinton, I was able to meet
and bond with many more of my Dana-Farber teammates as we all prepared for the
final leg of our journey.
Arriving in Hopkinton
With DFMC training coach Jack Fultz
With teammate Cary
Ready to run
With teammate Brooke at the start
We were not lined up at the starting line for long before they had us on our
way from Hopkinton to Boston.
Immediately from the start there were crowds of people cheering us
on. The first part of the race is mostly
downhill, so naturally I took off a bit fast between the downhill terrain and
excitement of running the Boston Marathon.
I glanced at my watch after the 10k mark and realized I was flying, but I felt
great and kept on pushing. Between the
“Go Sarah!” and “Thanks Dana-Farber!” yells from people I had never met in
my life, it was impossible to slow down.
The energy on this course is unlike any I have ever experienced. The “screech tunnel” at Wellesley certainly
lives up to its name.
A little over halfway through, a hip injury I had been battling started to flare
up as I had feared it would. I continued
on, but my pace slowed significantly. I
remember seeing the arch that stated, “the Heartbreak is Over!” at the top of
heartbreak hill, little did I know that the heartbreak was far from over and
everything was about to change very soon.
I ran into my friend, Leah, right around mile 25 who told me what had happened
at the finish. I didn’t process a thing
she had said and kept on running with the other runners- when you reach mile 25
of the marathon, you aren’t really processing much of anything other than
crossing that finish line. I was stopped
shortly after mile 25 and at the time was told that there was another package
that was a suspected bomb being inspected about 50 feet in front of us. All of us runners were in shock at the time-
none of us would have ever imagined having to process the thought of bombs at
the finish line and a potential threat right in front of us. I froze…do I go around the barricade and try
to get to the finish to help out? Do I
stay nearby because if that is a bomb and it goes off they will need my first
responder skills? Or do I turn around
and walk towards an area that is hopefully safer? Some ran around the barricade, others dropped
to the ground and started crying and many, like me, stood frozen unsure of what
was really happening. I pulled my phone
out and saw message after message pouring in….I turned around and started
walking away from it all in shock.
It took quite a bit of time, but I was finally able to reach my parents and
some friends to get the word out that I was alright. It wasn’t until I heard the fear in my
parents’ voices that I realized how severe what had happened was. Fortunately, my friend Jenna was able to get
through to me. She and her boyfriend
were able to get where I was by car and drive me home.
I didn’t look at the news because I was not ready to see what exactly had
happened until after I had showered and we got to the restaurant we had all
planned to meet at for dinner prior to the race.
All the TV’s were on the finish line, showing over and over again the
horror of what had happened. I was so
relieved all of my friends were safe and I had never been so thankful that my
legs hurt as bad as they did because it meant they were there. Monday night, it didn’t seem real…I felt
numb. How could something like this happen?
Tuesday, I went to catch the train to retrieve my finish line bag with my
belongings. The station was completely
silent except for the footsteps of the National Guardsmen pacing the
platform. As I sat waiting for the
train, all I could do was cry. I got off
at Arlington station to walk to where I was supposed to retrieve my bag. Police and their K-9 units along with the Nation Guardsmen stood as a pack keeping an eye out in the station. Once I got to the street, I saw there were already flowers and memorials
along the barricades on Boylston- the city truly had pulled together. I stared down Boylston towards the finish line in disbelief. Finally, I made it to where all of the bags were. Runners were exiting the building- most with tears in their eyes. The volunteers insisted on me receiving a
medal (I told them I hadn't finished and shouldn't receive it) reassuring me that I would have finished and had earned it. The B.A.A. volunteers were absolutely amazing and did an excellent job at handling the situation at hand.
Receiving my medal
The volunteers were beyond amazing
After the photographer insisted I smile with my medal
My deepest sympathies go out to those who lost
their lives or were wounded throughout this horribly tragic event, as well as
their loved ones. It still does not seem
real and deeply saddens me that so many have this long road of recovery ahead
of them. I have no doubt that they will
persevere and make excellent recoveries.
The days and weeks following this event have proven to be difficult as a
wide array of emotions continue to follow these events.
All in one day, I experienced some of the best moments of my life and some of
the worst. It is a lot to process, but I
know I will be okay and get through this.
We as a city will all get through this- we are all Boston Strong. I plan
on being back next year, running faster than before, raising more money for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and crossing that finish line stronger than
ever.
The Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team and staff have pulled together in an
amazing way over these last couple weeks and I have made lifelong friends
through all of these experiences. It is
a true blessing to be a part of such a great organization. They have provided us with many resources to
help us all cope with this tragedy. Fortunately, all of our runners are healthy and in good shape, however some family members of a teammate are not as fortunate. My
thoughts and prayers are with those injured and their families every single
day.
While I did not cross the finish line, I am proud
to say that you helped me raise $5,500 for the Dana-Farber Cancer
Institute. While these tragic events may
have occurred, there are still positive thoughts to think about- the
Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team brought in over $4 million to directly fund
innovative cancer research and donations are still coming in!
The sign I intended to hold up at the finish line for all of my supporters
I feel as though all of these words can’t even begin to describe all the
emotions/events of the last couple weeks, but I wanted to share some of it with
all of you. I can’t say thank you enough
to all who have supported me throughout this entire journey and have kept
Boston in your thoughts and prayers.
Stay Boston Strong.
-S
